lackadaisical

i don’t know if it was because of the dreary weather, but today i just felt hopeless. listless and lost in limbo, i was stuck in my own head and kept bringing myself down.

it’s been months since i’ve been on the pole, and it’s been too easy to make excuses instead of getting back into it. i’ve lost a lot of strength during my time away, and now that i’m home, i’m tied up with an erratic work schedule. i was semi-hesitant to start pole dancing again, but i decided that today would be the day.

i was already feeling down when i got there. it was an intermediate/advanced class, and i’m not at that level in terms of strength. my inverts are messy and my aerial inverts are nothing short of abysmal. i popped out my shoulder on the first – and only day – i landed my shoulder mount, so that’s out of the question until i’ve conditioned properly. i tried not to compare myself to the other girls who were so fluid and graceful and strong and powerful.

“don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re just coming back after a long time away,” my teacher told me as i struggled with a chopper-invert-outside leg hang-cupid-figurehead combo that everybody else nailed effortlessly. i nodded, but even i couldn’t mask my disdain with an attempted smile. i feel like she saw right through it in seconds.
“you promise?” she knows.
“no,” i say.

there was this one trick in the combo that i’d always wanted to learn: the cupid. i haven’t worked on flexibility in a long time and my hip protested as i tried to make it stretch almost parallel to the pole. i was pretty pleased with it, and my happiness only increased as we started freestyling. it has only been within the past year that i’ve given freestyling a try, as it’s never been my first nature – i’m not a dancer and i’ve never been formally trained other than with pole.

freestyling today was such a release. i felt like i was flying around the pole and my hair was whipping and my dips and pirouettes were beautiful because i’ve practiced them many a time, and oh isn’t that what you must do should you wish to excel at something, my dear?

we danced. i danced. i threw my pole shoes on and oh yes i danced, i floated no longer in fog but around and around the chrome bar that was so familiar to me and i was in control of it all.

i was so sore when i got home. so sore, but happier than i’ve felt in days.

 

A Whole New World

I first became interested in pole dancing when I was about 16 years old. Never having been much of an athletic person, the only dance experience I’d had was breakdancing at the age of 9 and two dance classes during high school gym class.

It was while procrastinating an assignment due the next day that I stumbled onto a pole dance video on YouTube. Back in the day, anything pole-related was few and far between, but I managed to find a number of videos to satiate my newly piqued interest in pole. Being a music junkie, I realized that almost any song could be applied to pole, which is probably 87% of the reason why I became infatuated with the sport. It intrigued me that pole dancers could seemingly defy gravity with such gracefulness and fluidity, and the PG-14 videos showcased a side of pole dancing that strayed from its stereotypical erotic nature.

I had no problem dabbling in something that was mildly taboo, especially as a typical teenage girl raised by strict Christian parents. In fact, what better way to rebel than to participate in such an activity? I quickly did my research and found out that pole dancing was a new fitness craze and that there were actually a few studios in my area. After verifying that none of them were secret speakeasy’s, I decided on Aradia, a chain studio which operated throughout Canada. I went to a teaser class with one of my best friends, where we spent about 40 minutes doing ‘sexy floor workouts’ followed by about 15 minutes actually using the pole. This was the part that I was the most excited for – I’d get to experience real pole dancing!! We learned the basics – that is, how to walk around the pole, pirouette, hold yourself up (I was scared to lift my feet off the ground), and a simple fireman spin. The instructor led us in a choreographed combination of the new moves we’d just learned and after a 5 minute cool down, we had officially finished our first ever pole dance class.

I left the studio that day with a newfound love and passion for pole dancing, and since then, I’ve found a new home studio:  SASS in Stoney Creek, the home of Miss Pole Dance Canada 2011. Dancing and training with Shanyn means that she pushes me to be my best and reach my goals, as she shows how hard work and dedication really do pay off. She’s helped kickstart my pole journey, and every time I watch her execute a move, I’m left in awe. I’ve come a long way since my first pole dance class, and I fully intend to continue with pole and further explore the aerial arts.